


Overseas Rates

by whiteraven1606



Series: Loosely Connected [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Canon compliant for Skyfall, Friendship, Gen, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 12:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiteraven1606/pseuds/whiteraven1606
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coulson and Tanner talk on the phone. They've been calling each other for years now.</p><p>Spoilers for Skyfall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overseas Rates

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prompt fill for: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/13316.html?thread=30607620#t30607620
> 
> This assumes you've seen Skyfall, but if you have not and don't mind knowing who dies (it is a James Bond movie people die a lot in them) and don't mind now knowing excatly which explosions Tanner is talking about (there's a lot of explosions too) it should still be readable.
> 
> You can skip this one and you won't lose anything in the series overall.

****

Phil Coulson sat down to update his list of things the Hulk would eat vs what Dr. Banner would eat. He rubbed his chest as he waited for it to hit a lull time for London while he worked. He glanced at the clock as he added Sass filled cup=Sassafras soda pop to his Hulk list and decided that Bill was probably free.

"Tanner."

"It's Coulson."

There was a click on the line as Tanner adjusted something in the encryption. Phil's screen popped up a helpful message from JARVIS telling him the conversation was being scrambled. 

"We're a madhouse at the moment. How is it for your end?"

"I babysit a green rage monster that gets his manners from Mr. Stark."

"Well, then. That's always nice."

Phil smiled. "Madhouse, you say?"

"Right. There's been..." Tanner sighed over the line. "You heard about 007 not being quite as dead as we'd thought?"

"I did."

"He's been chasing down the source of the trouble, but, well..."

Phil pulled up London's current news. "He's blowing things up?"

"M was nearly shot this afternoon." There was keyboard noises on the line. "Q is working on an insane plan with 007 right now."

Phil nodded as he flicked away the news reports and logged through to his feed from SHEILD. It didn't give much worse news so that was both good and bad. "You think Bond can end it?"

"Oh, I know he can." Tanner must have turned because the background noise changed direction. "He's quite the pain."

Phil checked the reports they shared with MI-6 on agents' health status. "He's running around with _that_ level of health?"

"Oh, yes." Tanner sounded miffed. "He looks like something pulled him through a bog and then stomped on him."

"Wonderful." Phil sighed when he saw the list of newly dead agents and police personnel. "High body count."

"Yes, that's why he has kidnapped M."

Phil rubbed at his temple. "He'll get it stopped. Hopefully without losing M." 

"We'll see." Tanner took a sip of something. "What about your mess? Is that team working out well enough?"

"They didn't destroy the whole of the last smaller city we had an incident in."

"How is teambuilding going for them?"

It was Phil's turn to sigh. "I sometimes want to lock them all in a padded room and wait it out."

Tanner snorted.

"There's some culture shock for two of them, learning language for two and a half, well, if I count Hulk as a half, of them...triggers for all of them, which all differ."

"There's an agent with a new phobia about VW Bugs here."

Phil shook his head. "What happened?"

"Oh, just had a few nearly kill her."

"Were they sentient?"

"No." Tanner shifted the phone. "Do I need to worry about that sort of thing?"

Phil checked the current threat level for the various villains with robots or intelligent energy properties that were known. "Not that I know of."

"Oh, well, that's good then." Tanner started walking. "I'll let you know how it turns out, all right?"

"Yes. Good luck." Phil hung up and changed the secondary screen to keep him informed of the intel coming out of the United Kingdom as the evening wore on.

****

Tanner frowned when Bond finally came in. He was covered in dirt and...blood. Tanner herded the agent towards the medical wing while trying to make it look like a debrief. Not that he really needed a debrief. The sheer amount of smoke and fire on the satellite images told a vivid story. "How are you holding up?"

Bond gave him that weary oh-screw-you-too look. "How does it look, Tanner?"

"Dirty." Tanner caught Bond's arm as he sagged on his way out of the elevator and then ducked the panicky punch thrown his way. "Steady. We don't want you falling over before we get you to a bed."

"Oh." Bond looked sheepish around the edges. "Reflexes."

"Yes, I know." Tanner got Bond settled and found himself a phone that could be used for calling the States.

****

Phil winced when the mansion Bond had chosen blew up and the helicopter's heat signature disappeared into the flare of the fire. "Oh, that's just spectacular."

He filed his last mandatory report and started updating his if-I-have-died-this-is-what-you-have-to-know-about-the-Avengers files. He was considering going to sleep when his phone rang.

"Coulson."

"I hate my job sometimes."

Phil grimaced. "Lost her, then?"

Tanner sighed down the line and it sounded like he was sitting in a smaller sized room. "Yes."

"I'll try to clear time for the Director to attend the funeral."

"Thank you." Tanner didn't hang up, he just breathed down the line for a few minutes.

Phil logged out of his feeds. "You have agents that need you."

"I know." There was a rustling sound over the line. "He's sleeping like the dead."

"Badly damaged?"

"I think he managed to get singed and half-drowned in a span of less than ten minutes. Do you think that's some sort of record?"

"Possibly." Phil resisted the urge to check. "Will he recover?"

"Oh, yes. I'm certain he'll be giving the new M fits in less than a week."

"Good." Phil started to take off his shoes and socks now that he knew he wasn't going to be needed across the Pond today. "Keep me informed."

"Always. Same for you."

"Of course." Phil shut off his phone and began to empty his pockets for bed.

****

**Author's Note:**

> Considering the time zones involved, which I'm not great at, I figured Coulson called in his late afternoon the first time (which was Tanner's evening after James and M had been on the road a while) and waited up that night for the call the next day from Tanner and then went to bed.
> 
> Give me a bit of leeway on the timeframes, pretty please.


End file.
